Mommy Trouble

I didn't post yesterday because I was having mommy trouble.   My boy's heart was broken and it was so hard to watch.  I know these are normal situations that happen in life that will help build his resiliency and self-reliance but it's just so hard to watch.  My stomach has been in knots. It made me not want to reflect upon my day let alone my day in the classroom. Who could hurt a face like that?  And if you think his face is beautiful, his heart is infinitely more so. We talked about a the difference between a fixed- mindset (believing that we are only given a certain amount of intelligence to work with in this life) and a growth-mindset (the belief that our intelligence and understanding of concepts can grow with effort, learning, and practice) at our staff development meeting today.  Are we doing kids a disservice by praising their intelligence rather than acknowleding the effort they put forth to learn/accomplish new things?  I've always worked hard to make sure my students know how smart they are and that they can do anything they set their minds to so I often tell them how smart they are. I parent a lot like I teach (or is it the other way around?), have I done the same disservice to my boy? He understands the value of hard work at school and gives 100% of himself to the sports and teams he plays for. But have I praised his skill more than I have acknowledged the effort he puts toward his accomplishments? Does he think I value what he does more than I value who he is? He cares so deeply and gives so much. How can some of the adults in his life not give the same care and effort back to him?  How can anyone cause such heartache to such a sweet soul?